


Your Friend the Quartermaster

by hypatia



Series: The Incredibly True Adventures of 2 Hackers in Love [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Leverage
Genre: Eliot's grip on reality is slipping, Hacking is a small world, I'll try harder next time, M/M, No oligarchs were harmed in the making of this fic, Parker is observant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21761179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypatia/pseuds/hypatia
Summary: "Hardison? You know someone at MI6 right? ""Yeah. Why?"Eliot gestured at the breaking news bulletin on the TV. "Does he work at HQ? Someone blew up an office in the MI6 headquarters building a few hours ago."Hardison frowned "I'm reasonably certain he didn't blow up the building Eliot. He's very careful with explosives."--Parker, who had been watching the conversation closely, suddenly lunged forward and peered at Hardison intently. "Who's his favoriteBattlestar Galagacharacter?""Gaeta." Hardison answered immediately. "And it'sGalactica, notGalaga.""I knew it." she said triumphantly. "You've slept with him."
Relationships: alec hardison/q
Series: The Incredibly True Adventures of 2 Hackers in Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568371
Comments: 12
Kudos: 123





	Your Friend the Quartermaster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [grlcookery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grlcookery/gifts).



> Inspired by a question from grlcookery on the previous fic. 
> 
> Now I have a series too. Ho Ho Ho.

"Hardison? You know someone at MI6 right? "

"Yeah. Why?"

Eliot gestured at the breaking news bulletin on the TV. "Does he work at HQ? Someone blew up an office in the MI6 headquarters building a few hours ago."

Hardison frowned. "I'm reasonably certain he didn't blow up the building Eliot. He's very careful with explosives."

Eliot looked puzzled. "I didn't think he blew it up. He's a computer guy right? I was wondering if you knew if he was OK."

"Uh. Computer guys blow things up all the time. But yeah, he's fine. He wasn't working at headquarters. He was doing weapons development at a site outside of London. When he's at HQ he only gets to play with the tiny explosives."

"So, he's not a hacker, he works for Q-branch?"

"Oh he's definitely a hacker. And an engineer. A weapons smith. Explosives expert... He's... scary smart. Brilliant. And this is _me_ saying that. What's Q-branch?"

Eliot looked bemused. "Q stands for quartermaster." Hardison looked blank. "You know, the folks in charge of all the equipment?"

"Oh. Yeah. That's what they have him working on these days. That explains his new code name. I thought it was weird he'd pick a _Star Trek_ reference. He's more of a _Battlestar Galactica_ guy."

" _Star Trek_ reference?"

"Apparently they call him Q now. He figured it would amuse me."

"Q." Eliot choked on his beer. "They... call him Q now."

"Yes?"

"Your contact. Is Q." 

"Yes Eliot." Hardison frowned in puzzlement. "That's what I said."

"Q."

"Now you're just repeating yourself. It's a letter. Seventeenth in the alphabet? A somewhat amusing recurring _Star Trek_ villain. ... maybe... is trickster a better...?"

"Damn it Hardison. Pay attention," Eliot interrupted. "Your contact was just promoted to _Quartermaster of MI6_. He's not working _for_ Q-branch. Q-branch works for _him_."

"Oh." Hardison blinked. "Cool. That means he'll be able to do something about their infrastructure. He's been bitching about network security there for ages."

"Do you have any idea...?" Eliot rubbed his temples, clearly trying to get a grip on reality. "Just how well do you know this guy?"

Hardison hesitated. "We met online when we were... 12? We both hacked the Pentagon. Kinda simultaneously. We sort of bonded."

Parker, who had been watching the conversation closely, suddenly lunged forward and peered at Hardison intently. "Who's his favorite _Battlestar Galaga_ character?"

"Gaeta," Hardison answered immediately. "And it's _Galactica_ , not _Galaga_."

"I knew it," she said triumphantly. "You've slept with him."

"What?" he drew back and frowned at her.

Parker grinned. "Is he good in bed?"

"How... I mean. Why do you think I've slept with him?"

"Easy," said Parker. "Who's Chaos' favorite _Battlestar Galaga_ character?"

Hardison stared in confusion. "Are you doing this to provoke me? ***** It's _Ga-lac-ti-ca,_ " he said enunciating every syllable. "And I don't know."

( ***** she is)

"Does Chaos like _Star Wars_ or _Star Trek_ better?"

"I don't know Parker," Hardison repeated more loudly.

Parker nodded decisively. "And who is Eliot's favorite _Star Wars_ character?"

"Chewbacca," said Hardison without hesitation.

"Mmhmm. And my favorite... _Star Trek... Next Generation_ character?"

"It's a toss-up between Ensign Ro and Vash."

Parker made an _I rest my case_ gesture.

"All right. Yes," Hardison conceded and his smile in Eliot's direction grew just a tad smug. "How do they say it in British? A bloody good shag?"

Eliot stopped rubbing his temples and thumped his forehead on the bar edge a couple of times. "So now you're telling me, that you've _slept with_ the new _Quartermaster of MI6_."

"Slept with, hacked with, gone to more raves than I can count, bankrupted a couple Russian oligarchs..."

~

 **Red-5** : Eliot tells me I was insufficiently impressed by your promotion.

 **Torchwood** : So are you impressed now?

 **Red-5** : Nope.  
Congrats man.  
Good luck.

 **Torchwood** : Thanks.

 **Red-5** : Parker figured out we've slept together.

 **Torchwood** : What tipped her off?

 **Red-5** : She asked if I knew your favorite "Battlestar Galaga" character.

 **Torchwood** : I...  
Right.   
I'm never going to understand how her brain works am I?

 **Red-5** : Nope.

 **Torchwood** : Have to go, bad guys to track, secret agents to wrangle.

 **Red-5** : MtFBWY

 **Torchwood** : LLaP

**Author's Note:**

> Since Leverage ended in 2012 and Skyfall came out the same year, I imagine that this conversation took place sometime during the final season.
> 
> (Minor edits, mainly punctuation, on 11/25/2020)


End file.
